i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
