She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
