Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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