I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
