after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
You are the jesus of drinking
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
