I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
