I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Someone shattered a urinal.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
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