Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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