i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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