sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
