plz talk dirty to me
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
