i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
