I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Randomize
