Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize