they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
