For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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