so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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