i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
