This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
