lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
