He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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