someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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