i was rollin on her like bob the builder
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
