quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize