so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
