I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Randomize
