I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
