he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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