Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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