Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
