OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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