The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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