I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
