heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
