I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize