She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
