"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
