He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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