ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
