WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
