Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
