her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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