She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize