How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
