Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
