the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I just want nice things and good sex
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
