took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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