I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
as a side note pls kill me
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
