No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
