Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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