So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize