I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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