So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
