Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
