Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
