Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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