In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
