Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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