You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
