How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
