Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
