There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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