Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
