He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
