the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
