Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
ugly people sure do ruin things
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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