they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
