I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize