He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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