she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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