it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
