Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
