even my farts smell like vagina
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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