looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Randomize