You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I have fence marks all over my body
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
