Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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