I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
