Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
