So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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