No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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